Friday, March 23, 2007
Ms. Fockler
It's official I am Ms. Paige Fockler again. I was a little taken back when it was completely done with, that an overwhelming gloom hit me. I know what I did was the right decision, but I also loved him very much and he was best friend. I am lonely up here sometimes, it's the longest time I've been single and although I am happy it can get a bit drafty. It's the first time that I haven't liked anyone at all(well except for unavailable men) and I so like the feeling of liking! It's also the first time I've thought that no one will measure up to him, that I will be able to be as close to someone and feel wonderful. I know there was a lot of displeasure but none was based on him, but me and where I wanted to be. Did I give up to early? I truely don't think that is the case but it could be. Am I in a huge slump? I would say it's a bit closer to the truth, but I don't know. I don't need a relationship it would muddy things up, but I kind of want one, I'm ready and I want to apply my skills!
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Sorry, you're in a slump. It is so hard to be alone. Just look at it as a great time to focus on you and who you are. Maybe God wants to show you something or lead you somewhere but your focus has to be on Him and not on someone else. My one regret is feeling like I had to get married so fast. It might have been nice to live a little on my own. I know Kirk feels the same way. Enjoy your time alone. By the way, Flat Stanley was GREAT!!! Karissa was way impressed. We love you!!
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